Vulnerability as a Way of Life, or the Courage to be Vulnerable

I heard this video presentation at some point in the last year. I heard it again today. It's about 20 minutes long, fairly sociological, but well worth listening to, especially if you struggle with trying to be perfect or accepting imperfection. Rather than focus on that (while I think it's worth focusing on), I want to focus on the last few minutes of Brene Brown's presentation from June 2010.

I would encourage you to watch the entire video, then go back and start at the time mark 17:58.

This speaker talks about speaking to our children as though they are worthy of love and belonging in spite of and in the face of imperfection and disappointment. She says that if we show a generation of children and young people that they are worthy of love and belonging simply because they are, simply because they exist, then the issues and problems of identity and the impossible pursuit of perfection will no longer plague our children and eventually our society and culture.

I want to point this part of her talk out for two reasons.

First, I work with children, youth, and young people. I want to tell them that they belong to Jesus, that they are loved for who they are as imperfect beings. I want to tell their parents to be vulnerable in front of their kids, to live into the reality that adults don't have everything figured out, that sometimes adults fail, and it is only by love, compassion, and courage can they/we/I move forward.

Second, I am one of those children who is and was celebrated in spite of my perceived shortcomings, my failures, and my imperfections.

My mom blogs. Often. And beautifully. She has this incredible way of telling stories through her words, pictures, and descriptions that I absolutely love. I'm proud of her. Each Tuesday, she has a "Tuesday at the Table" entry that I'm especially drawn to. If you know me or my family, you know tables and what happens around tables is super important to us. Today Mom wrote about her mom, my Grandma, our family's Matriarch, who taught my mom how to cook.

Okay, passing on recipes and techniques is great. Delicious. What is more important that the surface foodie stuff is that Grandma told her children (and grandchildren and great-grandchildren) that they have worth, that they belong, and that they are loved.

My Grandma and my mom showed me that I am worth breaking bread with, baking cookies with, and passing on recipes to.

My Grandma and my mom showed me that I belong with them, to them, and they to me. I may be states away, but I know I will forever have a seat at their table.

My Grandma and my mom showed me that I am loved. Through food, through hugs, through phone calls, through Facebook, through text messages, through the simple knowledge that I am being prayed for. I am L-O-V-E...LOVE-d!

You might not get that last joke. It's a family thing. Last week I wrote a eulogy for my Papa. Today I want to say thank you and Happy Birthday to my Grandma!

As a young man living essentially on his own states away from his hometown, I often find it hard to be vulnerable. One of the beautiful things about the blog-o-sphere is that I can be vulnerable here and there ain't nothin' you can do about it.

It's late and I have a busy day tomorrow. But know this: invest in the people around you, show them they are worth loving and be okay with their imperfections as much as possible, and they will respond. Being vulnerable, existing alongside imperfection, and loving in spite of failure is hard work. But it's what my mom and my Grandma do and did, and it's the way of Life that I choose.

Happy Birthday Grandma. I love you.