Why I (Hate) Ash Wednesday but Love Lent

Okay, maybe hate it too strong of word. I'm not a fan of Ash Wednesday. I appreciate it as the beginning of my favorite liturgical season, but in and of itself, meh.

I must admit my bias, however, because I am certainly jaded as a theologically trained and historically minded church worker towards my dislike of Ash Wednesday but my deep fondness for Lent. Looking back at my Facebook feed this morning, I see all sorts of posts about Lenten devotions, disciplines, and resolutions. For example, these are actual status updates from this morning, with names removed so I can only judge them so far:

• "Beginning my 40-day journey with Madeleine L'Engle devotions. Happy Lent!" 
• "I am dust." 
• "I am dust...and to dust I shall return. Welcome Lent!" 
• "Ash Wednesday is when your baptismal cross, long daubed and dried into invisibility, is sketched in shadow across your forehead. It’s when we are invited again, each of us with clear eyes, to take up the cross that has already taken up with us." 
• "Ash Wednesday...a day that we (for lack of a better term) celebrate the notion that we will die because of our sin...but furthermore, we celebrate that through Christ we don't have to fear it...now, where are all those black clothes that I need to wear today" 

Happy Lent. Happy Lent? Lent is not happy! Advent is happy, Easter is happy, Pentecost is happy; Lent is not happy! Good Friday is not happy! Exclamation points abound!

I have two post-secondary degrees that focus on religion, history, and ministry--particularly Christian, Lutheran theology and history. I have no idea who Madeleine L'Engle is, though I can assume that this is a French monastic mystic who was HUGE into fasting, prayer, and alms giving, the traditional practices of the Lenten season. I know the post was meant to inspire Lenten devotions, but all I read was "Look what I know and what I am gonna do!"

"I am dust" and "Welcome Lent" are better, in my biased and trying-hard-to-be-humble opinion. Dust to dust, Tree in Eden to Tree of Life in New Jerusalem, Creation to ongoing creation. Lent as a time to reflect on how limited "free will" is, that we are dependent of God's creative hand in our very existence. I like these better, but they still are so limited because we, as Christians, already know the ending of the story.

The last two are poetic, somewhat straight forward, yet all together confusing and complex. A reminder of our Baptismal promises mixed with vocational language of bearing the cross of Christ in our lives. A teaser-trailer that we will suffer the consequence for our sinfulness, but that it shouldn't be feared because of a man who lived 2,000 years ago. Because that makes sense. And in order to celebrate this confusing and ridiculous claim, we wear black and put ashes on our heads. That's what I call a party!

I just took a quick lap around the church building, and this is what I saw:

• a large crowd preparing to attend a funeral of a long-time member, 
• one of our staff members sorting and checking through boxes to find the ashes and oil for tonight's Ash Wednesday services, 
• a group of professionals using our space for a training day (they all are dressed in Hawaiian shirts and leis), and 
• out the window are 3- and 4-year-olds sledding in the snow from Monday's flurry. 

Life, death, and the in-between. That's what Lent really means to me. We know the promised future, we exist in the in-between, and in through our Baptismal promises we are called to put to death our sinful ways and celebrate our new life in Christ. This Christianity thing is strange at times, tough at others, but is still one of the most meaningful things that I've found in my short life.

This Lent, I don't want you to know what I'm doing. That's between me and God. And I don't need to know what you're doing, even if it's beautiful, poetic, or simple--it should be between you and God.

(Disclaimer: I'm in a snarky mood. It happens. Sorry. And while I read into things (often with a cynical lens) I am glad people take Lent seriously, at least to some extent. There is something special about Lent, and it's more than a reboot of a New Year's resolution.)

I honestly think there is something deep and transformative about taking time to reflect on our relationship with God, Christ's relationship with us, and confess both the promised future and the realized present work of God. Sermon over. So is Fat Tuesday. Let's take time for Lent and I'll see you at Easter.