I really don't like Halloween. I don't like being scared on purpose--enough in life scares me as is. It's Halloween and I can really only think of two things today. One, I don't have any candy if trick-or-treaters stop by my door tonight. Two, Zombies.
Zombies. I fear I have become one. Or at least begun actively participating in a Zombie Institution. (This term, Zombie Institution, I've picked up from one of my seminary professors. His article can be found here.) Essentially, AR (my former prof) is saying that we (as people, as the church, as Americans) have moved away from needing authentic community to just consuming and being consumed by institutions that have no real connection to our individual needs, identities, or relationships. In fact, these institutions have become more scary and death-dealing--hence the Zombie comparison.
One of the most defining characteristics of Zombie Institutions is that they provide community of a shallow and temporary sort; this has replaced the authentic community that is more life-giving and attentive to our real needs. As AR points out, the 'secret ingredient' of authentic non-Zombie communities is obligation.
Obligation, I feel, has become a somewhat scary and almost dirty word around most people my age-ish. We want to be completely independent, we want to deserve what we get, and we can do it all without someone else's help. But what does it mean for us to be obligated to the people around us, to "Love your neighbor as yourself", to care for others and allow yourself to be cared for. Obligation is risky business.
I fear I have become Zombie-fied. Partly me, partly the communities/institutions I am involved with, partly how the world works around me. I work in a church. We try to be as life-giving as possible. Personally, I try to be on the lookout for signals and symptoms of kids and families that have been bitten too many times by Zombies and are in need of authenticity, affirmation of their humanity, and acceptance of their person-hood. It looks good on paper (like the Mariners' starting pitching rotation), but I fear I'm too much of a Zombie to break through my own fear and Zombie-ness and act out of obligation for my neighbor.
This weekend I will be leading a retreat with junior high students talking about faith, values, and choices around the topic of sex. I'm not looking forward to it. I'd rather talk about faith, values, and choices around the topic of love. Then I could talk about obligation to your neighbor, authentic relationship, love as action, love as commitment, love as vocation, sex as a small aspect of romantic (and hopefully devoted) love, and how so many people have become like Zombies. I'd rather talk about relationships as a whole, rather than sex as a small but important bit of a healthy, dedicated, and loving relationship between two mature and self-aware individuals.
If anyone has ever told you that working with youth and young people is easy, don't believe them. They probably lack the obligation, the vision, and the deep seeded fear that is necessary for being authentic and loving to and for youth. And then there's the whole mission and ministry of young people. Youth ministry isn't easy; there are days where the simplicity of the kitchen beckons. Even for how touch this stuff is, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I've felt glimmers and seen glimpses of obligation, of authentic relationships that transcend time and space, of true Love. And if, in fact, I am in the middle of a Zombie (Institution) Apocalypse, I hope that I will be a part of the life-pursuing resistance, not a dead-smelling shell of a human being. Here's to not being a Zombie on Halloween.
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